05 Using demons

“Yes, survive —said my Master calmly—, what do you expect? Do you really thought that this new step that you will take could be painless? No, there is no free meal in the world. This opportunity will allow you to have a body capable of cultivation, but it have to destroy the old, to create your chance. Now open your mouth, and prepare to change.”

I opened it, I already decided to follow her, so I had to follow her orders. The ball was hot, almost burn my tongue. “Swallow it”, my master order me and I did it.

At first it was hot, but nothing more, then… I yell. My whole body was in pain, like it was shattering from inside. I tried to move, but I couldn’t, the pain was paralyzing. I tried to yell again, but it was impossible, I couldn’t muster enough energy to do it. All was pain. Excruciating pain. My tears run through my face, almost like a river. It was in agony, I had never fell this torture in all my life. I could only think that she was in fact a demon that wanted to torture me. She use my naiveté and now was enjoying my torment. I wanted to see her face, but I could move a muscle. I couldn’t do anything. That was the end of my stupid life, and I deserved it for my stupidity.

So much pain! I could feel my blood boiling! It was no my imagination, I could hear the bubbles popping. My flesh was rotting, decaying. I saw how it was transforming in a fetid black goo. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it will pop out. “I want to die! —I thought— Kill me you damn witch!”

“This is the price for your transformation —the witch said—, you could succumb and die or be born anew. You have to endure if you want to live! It’s the only way! To live or to die, it’s your choice, it’s always your choice!”

It was so painful! I only wanted to live peacefully, why I had to suffer?! I didn’t care anymore, if it was my destiny to die, so be it. It was no worth it to suffer so much…

“Is this all what you can do? —the witch babble—. What about your revenge? It was not you who accepted me as your master because you want to revenge? All the fiery words that you was… where they are? Life is suffering, but also happiness. You only had suffer, but how about joy? Do you not want to have it? Is that all?”

My revenge? My revenge?! I was suffering and she could only think about my revenge!           My father never loved me, he always preferred my older brother and my younger sister. I was only the daughter of a concubine, never loved, always useful. He didn’t thought about me when he sell me, not even find me a husband but simply sell me! Like a mere slave! In his eyes, I was not worthy enough.

And my mother… my own mother! She didn’t defend me, she slapped me when I tried to oppose! “It’s necessary for the wellbeing of the family”, she said. I was her family! They were worthless parents! I wanted them to suffer as much as my damn siblings! Yes, those bastards. My dear brother that tied me, and my lovely sister that mocked me while I was crying. Yes! I want them to pay! I want all of them to suffer!

I shout damning them, it was so strong that I could fell the cave rumbling. The shout was so refreshing! It was marvelous!

“You have completed your transformation, congratulations.”

When I heard that, I turned to see the wi… my master. The pain was gone, and she was there, watching me, taking care of me.

I kowtowed. “Master, I’m shameless. You did had you promised, but I could only thought the worst about you. I’m not worthy of you been my master.”

She laughed. “Little girl, do you think I could feel your killing intent? But you don’t have to worry; there are not many people who could feel what you had fell without having these types of thoughts. Probably I would have do the same. After all, what I gave you was concentrated negative yin. That helped you to awaken the body of a cultivator, but it could give you negative emotions. That is part of my technique. The ‘using demons’ part. Later I will teach you how to control all that yin in order to improve your body.

But for now, you have to rest. There is still a long way for you to become a cultivator.»

She continued to talk, but I was so exhausted that I simply slept.

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